How do you define your happiness? I used to think I would be happy when I had the house, the car, the career, the man, etc. Then I looked up one day and realized I had all of it and I wasn’t happy. “Someone had sold me the botched American Dream!” I thought to myself. What a façade. I felt completely disillusioned and lost. The illusion, though, was the part where I believed that all that external stuff was all going to MAKE me happy inside…that I would have all that and somehow it would make up for the part in me that was stuck or the part of me that was empty. So once the illusion came crashing down, I had to rebuild from the ground up. And I’m definitely no expert at this, but after a few years, there are a few things I’ve learned about my own happiness.
There is a bit of a formula to me being happy. The first part of the formula for my happiness has to do with (1) the realization that I can consciously create my happiness, then (2) acting on it. Sounds simple enough, right? But there were times where I felt I was “doing” all the things I needed to do to be happy, such as thinking positively, working toward my goals, living a balanced life, and surrounding myself with good people and yet, there were still more days than I would’ve cared for where I felt down, depressed even, wondering if life would always be this ho-hum. Well, the formula for happiness wasn’t complete, it seemed. The third part of the formula was that I had to release any energetic blocks to my happiness. And that was the trick for me.
Now before you go dismissing what I’m saying because you think I’m a super happy person at my core and that’s just “who I am”, I will tell you that I too, have been through bouts of depression and a general low grade of blah-ness for most of my life. Life just seemed uninteresting, really. It just seemed like something I had to “get through”. Smiling and laughter were done mostly so that others wouldn’t worry about me or because I felt obliged to do so in social circumstances. I was tolerating life, at best. So, no, happiness didn’t and doesn’t come naturally for me.
The combination of consciously creating the life I want and simultaneously releasing blocks to happiness has created a new and higher baseline for my happiness to the point that I dare even label it “joy,” which feels like happiness combined with inner peace and surrender to life. Here are some of the energetic blocks that I have released in my own healing process…
- I was only about 80% open to the idea of a fulfilling and satisfying life.
- I was not giving myself permission to have a fulfilling and satisfying life.
- I was not completely open to the greater good of joy and love.
- I was operating on tons of fear of the unknown, fear of allowing others to get close, and fear of vulnerability.
- I was addicted to the energies of despair, emotional insecurity, self-limitation, unworthiness, doubt, wanting to escape life, and of all things, unhappiness. Every time I released these through medication, therapy, other healing modalities, a bit would return simply because I was addicted to having these energies around.
- And lastly, I was blocked to recreation, play, and laughter.
Now after some time of having these blocks removed in my own self-healing process, the difference that close friends of mine see is that I actually smile and laugh now, and I am more and more present in the moment (though still working on it :-)). While I used to have the nickname of Cruella and intentionally wanted to look grumpy, most people who meet me today have a hard time believing that’s how I used to be. That’s a great indication to me that the baseline of happiness has jumped up a few notches and the old energy is for the most part permanently gone. It no longer defines me. And in implementing the formula of releasing the energetic blocks with visualizing and taking action on my life, I am the *happiest* I have been. Ever.