What anchors you in your life? What keeps you grounded, safe, and sane? I always understood that my home represented an anchor for me. When I travel or simply when I go from day to day interacting with various people and energies, my physical home was the safe place I could let my walls down, regroup, recharge, and get back to center. With the relationship change and moving out of the home we shared, I expected and anticipated a little bit of a temporary “ungroundedness.” But six weeks later I still felt something was not quite right. So I kept searching my mental checklists of possible things to clear to figure out why I was still feeling unattached and anxious.
And there it was. My epiphany. That my “home base” is not necessarily a place. I was still feeling unsettled because I had anchored my life into a person (former boyfriend), an idea (that my purpose was to find love and get married), and a general worldly belief system that if two people love each other, it should work (there’s that darn “should” word again). When I lost (or chose to leave) those anchors in favor of more growth, I kept trying to anchor into something new… new people, new/redefined purpose, new beliefs. In those attempts, I still couldn’t pinpoint why everything was working out on the surface and yet I was still feeling a little “off” and out of sync. And what seems so naturally a lesson here, but what takes some of us like myself multiple times to really “get”, is best said by my own inner critic, and her counterpart/intuitive self, “Duh, Staton Ann, the ‘home base’ is in you.”
So there’s the ultimate Anchor.